A Simple, Twisted Fate

People. Can't live with'em, can't eat'em.

I mean, c'mon, do we really need this many people? When are we going to face reality and realize that there's just too many of us? Allow me to be very unoriginal and do a quote from the Matrix:

I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can't stand it any longer. It's the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink and every time I do, I fear that I've somehow been infected by it.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not a miserable person delving into the darkness of my soul, while I listen to goth music, contemplating the evil within and without. I'm generally a very personable person, I play well with others when I need to ... but unless I have to be around people, I won't be. Sadly, as luck would have it, I'm stuck with all of you.

Why this detestation? Well, allow me to present you with some simple examples ...

I work in Tech Support. Not just that, I work in Tech Support for an affordable internet provider. What that statement translates to is: if you're poor, uneducated, old, and just now getting into this wonder of technology called "The Web," you're probably one of my customers. I won't babble about technical conundrums, I'm talking basic stupidity here. I'm talking about people who, after 60 years of moseying through life, still need help discerning their left from their right. I'm talking about people who shouldn't be allowed near a toaster oven if it's plugged in, let alone a computer hooked up to the rest of the world.

You know the science shows where the mouse, trying to get to the cheese, gets zapped repeatedly every time it tries? That's the kind of intelligence level I'm dealing with on a daily basis ... the only difference is that the mouse learns its lesson and stops going for the cheese. The rodent-brains-hosted-by-human-bodies that I have to talk to just don't seem to learn.

And by the way, fuck you, Darwin! Why couldn't you have been right? Here you come up with this brilliant theory of evolution, but somehow humans have managed to screw that one up, too. For those of you that are unfamiliar with the Darwinian Theory of Evolution, here's a dictionary's description: A theory of biological evolution developed by Charles Darwin and others, stating that all species of organisms arise and develop through the natural selection of small, inherited variations that increase the individual's ability to compete, survive, and reproduce. Survival of the fittest, baby! Looks great on paper, doesn't apply too well in reality unless you happen to be a non-human mammal. They actually play by the rules.

We're born, we're adorable little creatures, and then it's all downhill from there. We grow, we eat, we consume the very environment that we infest, and we produce nothing. Intellectual property over which we can argue, that's what we produce. Starvation, war, disease, it's all ours, it's what we do best ... we create death, we just can't seem to die.

I repeat: people, can't live with'em, can't eat'em. Well, why not? Wouldn't that be an ideal solution to a lot of our problems? Hunger would be gone, right? Sure, it's against our moralities, but when did they ever make sense? We kill, pillage and plunder for ideas, but somehow it's wrong to eat perfectly good meat? Instead of funerals, we should have dinner parties ... absorb your friends and family, allow them to become part of you, and let their memory live on through you. Wouldn't that be great?

I want to be served with onions, lots of onions ... a nice sauce, some potatoes ...

However, right now I could go for some Chinese.