Proper English: Try it once, you might like it.
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
-Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889 - 1951), Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus (1922)
Now I know this makes me strange and all, but is it so much to ask that people learn to speak and write their own fucking language? Dyslexia aside, I see more and more high school graduates -- and worse, college graduates -- that can't spell simple words. As you may or may not know, English is a second language to me. I learned to speak English in a foreign country, and moved here after that fact. Thus you may find some odd grammatical mutations and spelling mistakes throughout my posts. However, and you may feel free to disagree with me on this one, I do believe that you will find these freak errors to be fairly infrequent.
Let's start with spelling, shall we? First, can we stop slaughtering words on purpose? It's "you," not "u." I know it's pronounced the same, and it saves you time to cut two letters out of the word, but trust me -- your time isn't that fucking valuable, and what you have to say isn't that fucking good that I'm willing to sit through your slaughtering the English language to read it. If you can't be bothered to spell out whole words I can't be bothered to pay any attention to your drivel. Also, just because two words sound the same doesn't mean they're spelled the same. "Our" and "are," you will find, are two completely different words with two completely different meanings, and neither are spelled "r."
The appalling part is that people are taking this ignorance into the work place. I've just recently seen people applying for jobs, using cover letters that are so packed with mistakes that it really leaves me with the impression that the applicant is a moron, and if I have any say in it, the resume and cover letter go right into the shredder. If running a spell checker is too fucking much to ask, then a job is too much to ask for, that's right.
Now for punctuation. I don't expect everyone to put two spaces after a period, I don't expect everyone to remember to put the comma before the end quotation mark, and I expect people to not know how to use a semi colon. I do, however, expect people to use punctuation, PERIOD. Pun intended, fucking deal with it. I also expect people to stop using multiple exclamation points and question marks, because it's annoying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't you think????????????????????????? You sound like a desperate crack addict looking to give head for your next rock. Slapping 20-30 additional punctuation marks after the last sentence doesn't make up for 7 paragraphs of failing to use any. If you can't make yourself understood with a single exclamation point ... well, use your fine command of the English language and shut the fuck up.
Finally let's talk about uppercase and lowercase letters, shall we? You know, the "big" and the "small" letters? For one, DON'T TYPE IN ALL CAPS, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE SCREAMING, AND IT'S REALLY ANNOYING. secondly, don't ignore the shift key completely, i don't like it. I's (the pronouns) are always uppercase. If hitting the shift key at appropriate times is too complicated a task for you, then find a better use for your keyboard ... say, hitting yourself over the head with it until you a) bleed and b) are incapable of doing so.
Language is what makes us different from animals. Well, that, proper bipedal locomotion, an opposable thumb and the ability to learn rather than working from instinct. Regardless, without language we'd still be beating rocks together for entertainment, more than which a few of you neanderthals out there do not deserve. Some people say language is an art. I disagree. It's no more art than a paint brush. It's what you do with language that makes it art.
I took time to learn your language. Your turn, asshole.
-Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889 - 1951), Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus (1922)
Now I know this makes me strange and all, but is it so much to ask that people learn to speak and write their own fucking language? Dyslexia aside, I see more and more high school graduates -- and worse, college graduates -- that can't spell simple words. As you may or may not know, English is a second language to me. I learned to speak English in a foreign country, and moved here after that fact. Thus you may find some odd grammatical mutations and spelling mistakes throughout my posts. However, and you may feel free to disagree with me on this one, I do believe that you will find these freak errors to be fairly infrequent.
Let's start with spelling, shall we? First, can we stop slaughtering words on purpose? It's "you," not "u." I know it's pronounced the same, and it saves you time to cut two letters out of the word, but trust me -- your time isn't that fucking valuable, and what you have to say isn't that fucking good that I'm willing to sit through your slaughtering the English language to read it. If you can't be bothered to spell out whole words I can't be bothered to pay any attention to your drivel. Also, just because two words sound the same doesn't mean they're spelled the same. "Our" and "are," you will find, are two completely different words with two completely different meanings, and neither are spelled "r."
The appalling part is that people are taking this ignorance into the work place. I've just recently seen people applying for jobs, using cover letters that are so packed with mistakes that it really leaves me with the impression that the applicant is a moron, and if I have any say in it, the resume and cover letter go right into the shredder. If running a spell checker is too fucking much to ask, then a job is too much to ask for, that's right.
Now for punctuation. I don't expect everyone to put two spaces after a period, I don't expect everyone to remember to put the comma before the end quotation mark, and I expect people to not know how to use a semi colon. I do, however, expect people to use punctuation, PERIOD. Pun intended, fucking deal with it. I also expect people to stop using multiple exclamation points and question marks, because it's annoying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't you think????????????????????????? You sound like a desperate crack addict looking to give head for your next rock. Slapping 20-30 additional punctuation marks after the last sentence doesn't make up for 7 paragraphs of failing to use any. If you can't make yourself understood with a single exclamation point ... well, use your fine command of the English language and shut the fuck up.
Finally let's talk about uppercase and lowercase letters, shall we? You know, the "big" and the "small" letters? For one, DON'T TYPE IN ALL CAPS, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE SCREAMING, AND IT'S REALLY ANNOYING. secondly, don't ignore the shift key completely, i don't like it. I's (the pronouns) are always uppercase. If hitting the shift key at appropriate times is too complicated a task for you, then find a better use for your keyboard ... say, hitting yourself over the head with it until you a) bleed and b) are incapable of doing so.
Language is what makes us different from animals. Well, that, proper bipedal locomotion, an opposable thumb and the ability to learn rather than working from instinct. Regardless, without language we'd still be beating rocks together for entertainment, more than which a few of you neanderthals out there do not deserve. Some people say language is an art. I disagree. It's no more art than a paint brush. It's what you do with language that makes it art.
I took time to learn your language. Your turn, asshole.
posted by Larf at 12:13 AM
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